I find working as a programmer for corporations soul-sucking. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy helping people, so I find some level of satisfaction to solving problems for people using technology.
The problem is when I think too much about what I am doing, or ask the real questions like “why the hell are we doing this”, and “why does the goal always have to be about making more money”, and “who the hell cares about any of this because it doesn’t make anyone feel more loved, or help someone feel more understood”.
It’s so meaningless, and my cynical side starts obsess about the idea that money and things that matter seem to live on opposite ends of a spectrum. In moments like those I feel a yearn to create, and share with the world things that actually matter. I am not a goddamn workhorse, and I can’t bring myself to care about making a corporation more money. I feel myself screaming on the inside to get the hell out of the system and create. Capitalism and love have a hard time coexisting.
I’d rather just create authentic shit (not literal poo) and share it with the world.
Thank you for listening.
Scotty